Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The transcription of the speech at Oscar 2011

Jude: “We are honored to single out those wizards of technological mastery who have helped create the most spectacular films of…”
Robert: “The person whose idea of a good time is muttering to themselves about technical adjustments while you’re suspended upside down from a rig in front of a green screen for six hours.”
Jude: “Relax. Their tireless work and collaborative…”
Robert: “Like the guy who comes up to you when you’re about to take a leak and says, “I’m sorry. Can I just put sixty tracking dots on your face first? That type of guy.”
Jude: “Stop it. I’m not here to be a part of your games where you get, you know, people coming up to you at the afterparty and saying how witty you are and how charming you are.”
Robert: “Or both.”
Jude: “Shut up. It’s their moment. You know, if it wasn’t for them your closest association with a superhero would have been in 2001 when you got busted in a cheap hotel with a woman dressed as Batgirl.” ::intense stance::
Robert: “Okay, first of all, that cheap hotel room cost $1250 a night with a corporate discount, secondly it was 2000 not 2001 and most importantly she was dressed as Wonder Woman. And that attention to detail is what has won the respect of all the Academy voters, for these fine men and women.”

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